My Higher Power is John Stamos
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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