So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
