So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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