Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
