I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Watching her eat just hurts me
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
