And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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