I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
