Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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