it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
