Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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