You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize