White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
