Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
