Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
