I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
