Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
