Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
