He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
