im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
