new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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