dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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