I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
