How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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