Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just googled if crying burns calories
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
