Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Randomize
