Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
