butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
