Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
