Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize