I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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