I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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