i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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