I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
