She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
