I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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