i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
