That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i think i just lost a toe
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
