Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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