he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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