Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
