Already got asked if we're dating
so explain again why im purple
no
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
