i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
