I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i drank out of a bidet.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Randomize
