She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I am never drinking with the goths again.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize