theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
a search helicopter?!
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize