I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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