at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
