So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
