Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
