either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
