My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
