Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I am available for nakedness
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
