I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
