Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
