Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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