I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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