sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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