Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
