Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
