I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
it was like his penis was on wheels.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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