ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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