So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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