just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
