dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
