Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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