Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
