Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Where is the hickey?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We are two peas in an std pod
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
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