Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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