Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
