We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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