I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
