pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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