everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
