so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
