it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
