The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
