Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
