At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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