I hate your face
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
